Kat’s World 3

Foreigner Tricks Office Workers Into Giving Money

June 24, 2009 · 10 Comments

A Caucasian male speaking with an American accent roams the Makati Central Business District at night and victimizes unsuspecting female employees, asking them for money.

 

“He said his wallet got stolen and needed to raise funds to go to Pasay, ” says Jaja, an online English teacher working in one of the skyscrapers at the Makati CBD. At around 11:30pm last Friday night, Jaja and her friend Ave were standing in front of the Philippine Stock Exchange building when the suspect approached a group of three ladies next to them. They heard the whole story and watched as the three victims fished out their wallets and handed the man some bills. Jaja and Ave felt so sorry for him that they even wanted to run after him and give him some cash even if he didn’t ask.

 

“Before he crossed the street, he did the sign of the cross and we felt more compassion for him because he’s a Catholic,” Jaja says.

 

On Monday night, at about the same time, the same man approached Jaja and Ave along Sedeño street with the same story, only that he needed to go to Zambales—-210 kilometres away from Manila—-instead of Pasay. Having recognized him, Ave said “We saw you last Friday. You asked some money from a group of girls.”

 

The man, with his act busted, said “I don’t remember you,” and walked away.

 

He is said to be about 5”7”-5′9”, probably in his late thirties, with dark eyes, dark hair, and a high nose. He is of medium built, but looks very athletic, with toned muscles. The two nights Jaja saw him he was wearing shorts, a tight shirt, trainers and a backpack. His skin is deeply tanned and the most notable feature, according to witnesses, are the wrinkles around his eyes.

 

The same man approached law student and Makati office-goer Aileen about two months ago at the corner of Chino Roces Avenue (formerly Pasong Tamo) and Kalayaan Avenue at around 4:30 am. He asked for directions going to Zambales. Aileen’s companion, Haydee, had been a previous victim and she recognized the man. The two girls simply said they couldn’t help him and quickly hailed a cab. Haydee told Aileen her story.

 

She had recently arrived in Manila from General Santos City and went out with four of her friends. On Ayala Avenue the man approached them and asked for monetary assistance. The girls, feeling bad for the poor foreigner whom they thought had been a victim of Pinoy conmen, pooled their money and gave him 500 pesos. That shoul’dve been enough for him to get some dinner, make necessary phonecalls, and even go to the US Embassy for help. Months later, he’s still asking for money.

 

 

This kind of trick is not at all new, but since the perpetrator is a foreigner, the victims are more easily convinced. The man probably earns a considerable amount of money with his panhandling since his victims feel embarrassed to give him only a small amount after his supposed bad experience in this country.

 

 

A native English speaker has plenty of employment opportunities in the Philippines, primarily in call centers where he or she may even be offered a higher salary compared to that of Filipino agents. Another option is to teach English in language centers for Koreans or Japanese, with these people being too eager to find a teacher speaking with that American twang. Most probably this panhandler has no legal documents to get a job in this country for him to resort to his scheme.

 

If he ever approaches you, it is best to just say you can’t give him anything and walk away.

 
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Note: Jaja, Ave, Aileen, and Haydee are all my colleagues. In our office of only twenty-five people, four had been approached by this man.
 

 

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The Intruder

June 22, 2009 · 19 Comments

Kat calls Ferdie…

 

Ferdie: Hello?

Kat: (panicky) Mahal, I have a problem.

Ferdie: (worried) Why what’s wrong?

Kat: There’s a spider in my room. I can’t sleep.

Ferdie: (sighs) Mahal naman… I’m in the bathroom, can I call you back?

Kat: Okay.

 

Five minutes later…

 

Kat: Hello?

Ferdie: Is the spider gone?

Kat: No, I ran away from it. I’m in the living room. I’m waiting for it to go away.

Ferdie: Mahal, you kill it.

Kat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ferdie: Mahal, remember that time when you went home and there was a bug on the bed, you got rid of it? That bug’s so much worse than a spider.

Kat: But…. but……the spider has eight eyes!!!!

Ferdie: (laughs) Of course. Get a broom and……

Kat: NOOO! I can’t kill it! I can’t do it! I cant!!!!

Ferdie: It’s just a house-spider, it’s harmless…

Kat: But…..but……It’s very hairy!!!!!

Ferdie: (laughs) Of course it’s hairy…

We spent twenty minutes on the phone discussing my problem and him convincing me that there was nothing that a spider could do to me, but, you know this movie Arachnophobia? I made the mistake of watching it when I was little and scenes from it kept flashing in my mind. I have no problem at all with the little jumping house spiders or those with the long thread-like legs often seen in bathrooms. But last night, pardon me for freaking out, the intruder in my bedroom  was this:

spider

 

I asked a housemate’s help after I screamed my head off and almost wet my pants when my eight-legged visitor walked creepily across my wall. My housemate whacked it with a broom but missed, and it actually jumped off the wall and landed with a thud on the floor. It scuttled away and disappeared in the dark space under the stairs where I keep my shoes. Great. I’m wearing slippers to work today.

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You Know You’re Too Old for College When…

June 16, 2009 · 24 Comments

1. The noise of your teen classmates annoy you to death.

2. You struggle for breath going up and down the stairs and get so tired going from classroom to classroom. (And your school isn’t really that big.)

3. Everyone addresses you “Ate*,” even the clerks at the registrar’s office and the vendors at the cafeteria.

4. People think you’re the professor when you walk into the room.

5. Only you and the professor know who Debbie Gibson is.

6. High school students greet you “Good morning Ma’am.”

7. You lose all your class cards on the first day of school. (Senior moment.)

8. Only you and the professor do not know what DOTA is.

9. You have headache medicine in your purse.

10. You have a purse.

and finally,

11. You go to school at 7:30 in the morning and wait for 45 minutes inside your empty classroom for your invisible classmates and professor, and you go to the registrar’s office to check if you got the right room where you realize, with that feeling of wanting to kick yourself, that your class will actually start at 7:30 in the evening.

 

But really, all is well.

 

 

*Ate–older sister; also used to address any older female as a sign of respectsignature new

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Teacher Kat Goes to School

June 15, 2009 · 6 Comments

Monday 12:02am, Text message sent to Ferdie: “Please don’t think of me. I can’t sleep.

12:03am, Ferdie to Kat: “Sorry, can’t help it.”

4:30am, Kat wakes up and gets ready for school with barely four hours of sleep.

5:30am, Kat arrives at the office where she thought she had left her class cards.

5:31am-6:00am, Kat frantically searches her workstation for her missing class cards and registration form. She does not find them.

6:01am onwards,Kat travels from Makati City to her school in the far, far south.

7:30am, Kat’s first class. And she’s still on a jeepney, still 15 minutes away.

7:45am, Kat indulges herself to a Jollibee breakfast to feel better.

8:00am, Kat explains to the exasperated clerk at the registrar’s office that she lost all of her documents.

8:00am-9:00am, Kat’s processes a request for a new registration form and new class cards. She finally gets new ones.

9:01am-10:30am, Kat walks around the school, waiting for her next class.

Three high school boys on the third floor of the high school building calls her, saying “Ate, what’s your name?”

Kat thinks “Ampft, gumalang pa kayo.”

Kat goes to the publication office several times, but it was always closed.

Kat suddenly discovers her index finger bleeding, and does not know how she got cut.

Kat sits on a table in the cafeteria and shared that table with high school students. (Loooooser!)

10:30am, Kat goes to class. The professor has got the colds and was asked not to go to school because of the A (H1N1) scare. (One hundred forty-seven cases in the Philippines as of writing time.)

11:00am, Kat goes back to the office and takes one sachet of Extra Joss.

7:15pm, And another sachet of Extra Joss

8:30pm, Kat yawns for the 76th time today.

and struggles not to fall asleep while teaching….

 

Okay, maybe I overestimated my own powers.

Tomorrow is another day.

 

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A New Beginning

June 9, 2009 · 31 Comments

I walked to the office light and bouncy, feeling like a schoolgirl.

I had to remind myself many times that I was.

Today I am officially enrolled, officially a freshman once again, and never mind that I am twenty-three because my new haircut would make me pass for err, uhm, twenty.

Something interesting happened as I was on the final step of my enrollment: The kind clerk at the registrar’s office had asked, out of the blue, “Would you like to write for the school paper?”

I was flabbergasted. Perhaps they asked all new enrollees, but still a huge smile forcibly came out. “I’ll see,” I told him.

He walked away saying “I’ll give you some…..” and came back with the two most recent issues of Student Publication. “So you can check it out,” he said.

He pointed to a woman walking a short distance from us and said “If you’re interested, you can approach her. She’s Miss Student Publication Adviser.” I simply nodded. He pointed to a door just behind me. “That’s the Student Publication office. You can just go there if you like.” I nodded again.

Minutes later I was on the phone with Ferdie, telling him happily of my class schedule and what the clerk said to me.

 

“Again?” Ferdie said, and laughed loudly. I laughed along with him—It’s my writing that got me into trouble before. “Why did he tell you that?” he asked.

 

“I don’t know. Must be something in my face.”

 

“So, are you going to try it out?” he asked again.

 

“I don’t know. I’ll see.”

 

“Just don’t write politics, Mahal,” he warned me.

 

“I’m done with politics. Now I just write out my heart.”

 

 

And as I said that sentence a smile escaped me again, for my mind was still processing the idea of committing myself to another responsibility, but my heart had already made the choice.

 

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Tales of A Commuter

June 2, 2009 · 28 Comments

In this country to “commute” means to travel only by public transportation and I, being a “commuter” all my life have had my fair share of cringeing stories about travelling in packs with hurrying, scurrying people who, like me, have the misfortune of not owning a car. Let’s start from the very beginning….

 

 

The Tricycle

tricycle

It’s the first Pinoy mode of transportation I learned to ride by myself when my family moved into a small town when I was seven. I liked sitting behind the driver (backride, as they call it) although it was very uncommon for girls to do so those days. One day, as I was sitting nicely with both my hands clutching the overhead metal bars,I slipped off the plastic-covered seat. With my feet not reaching the ground I hung there for dear life, for God knows how long. When all of your energy is put into carrying your own weight, believe me, you can’t scream. Screw Olive Oyl.

 

 

 

 The Pedicab/Sidecar/Sidegar/Padyak

pedicab

This was what I had to ride in high school, whenever I had the money for fare. The only memorable moment here ( which, on second thought, I actually want to erase from my memory completely) is one day while on the way home with my then-suitor, I said that “Matamis na Oo” and he became my first boyfriend, all the while an Aegis song playing in the background. Yeah, I know. How_cheap.

 

 

 

The Jeepney

jeepney

I started taking the jeepney regularly when I was in college, and I still do until now. Here are my memorable jeepney moments:

Jeepney Moment Number 1 : The Could’ve Been

The first time someone ever asked my name and number was inside a jeepney, and he was a way-too-handsome-for-me college guy. Add to that the fact that he attended a fancy school and who was I to say no? He said he had been watching me as I was sleeping (probably open-mouthed) inside the jeepney and felt like he had to meet me. We had been having a nice conversation until I asked his name, which he was hesitant to say because he thought I was going to laugh. After promising him I wouldn’t, he finally told me and I did laugh, in fact I laughed too hard and I even asked him the stupid question “Why did your parents name you that?”

And so he didn’t call.

I figured he might’ve asked God for a sign that whoever is the girl who wouldn’t laugh at his name would be The One. Oh well.

 

Jeepney Moment Number 2 : The Gold-Digger

I was in a moving jeepney when I tucked my hair behind my ear and the screw of my gold stud earring fell and scuttled underneath the long seat. You can imagine the scene—I on my hands and knees peeking in between people’s knees looking for a tiny glint, which I didn’t find.

Inside a jeepney

Inside a jeepney

 

Jeepney Moment Number 3 : Clear and Present Danger

I was on a jeepney with College Boyfriend (unfortunately not the handsome guy with the funny name) when two men flagged the jeepney and got on. The first man sat on one end and the second on the other end. They were both carrying backpacks that looked empty, and they were eyeing each other. College Boyfriend, who was observant to the point of being creepy noticed all of these and asked the jeepney to stop. We got off and were saved from what might’ve been a hold-up.

 

Jeepney Moment Number 4: The Laglag-Barya Gang (The Coin-Dropper Gang)

I was working nights and everyday at around 8am I took a jeepney going home. One morning the jeepney was on a loading station and I had to wait until it was full. In my hand I had seventeen one-peso coins, ready to give to the driver. I was unaware that I drifted to sleep and I was only jolted awake by the loud clanging of coins falling on the jeepney’s metal floor. I rubbed my eyes clear to see people clutching their bags tightly, looking at me suspiciously. They clearly thought I was a member of the Laglag-Barya Gang (Coin-Dropper Gang) who drops coins inside jeepneys and then steals from people who bend over to help pick them up.

 

Jeepney Moment Number 5 : The Splatter

I was seated near the entrance of a jeep when the drunken man next to me fell sideways and landed on my lap. I pushed him away and he tried to sit down straight with great difficulty. I moved further away from him and thought I was safe because he had already positioned himself nicely, his head hanging out the window. Just as our jeepney was traversing the highway at the speed limit, the drunken man threw up and the strong wind splattered his vomit to the unfortunate lass nearest him. Yes, me. I came home with puke all over my hair and jacket, asking God “Why me?”

 

Jeepney Moment Number 6 : The Mini-Splatter

So I guess you already have an idea of what happened that day, only the culprit was a chubby baby clad in a horrible pink outfit carried by her mother who was sitting next to me. Ever smelled all-milk baby-puke? No? Good for you.

 

To be continued… (bus, MRT, PNR, LRT, trolley, and RORO moments up next.)

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Hey, Problem!

May 26, 2009 · 15 Comments

I wouldn’t say I won, but you can neither claim entire victory.

True, you’re something I don’t have the power to solve, nor do I have the ability to escape from.

You are something that I simply must accept.

The fact that you have pained me doesn’t mean I’m pained forever.

I didn’t exactly win, but neither did you.

And as I am discovering the adult world, I realize now that a draw isn’t so bad.

And a re-match doesn’t have to be immediate, or necessary.
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