Looking back I suddenly realized that I had been a very eager/aggressive girl in the way that I do the silliest, stupidest things for the sake of a boy. In grade school, I did things like spying on my boy-crush with a little mirror stuck at the back of my sharpener, or practicing a song within his earshot (I was in the school choir), or writing a letter to this high school boy I liked, pretending to be a girl named Jereah and asking if we could be pen pals. And yes, I mailed it to his house—-don’t ask me how I got his address.
I’m that girl who gets restless and tries to find a way to see or talk to that boy whom I like, which is absolutely pathetic. I was one to do my homework on the plant box outside the house despite the myriad of mosquitoes just because that boy would pass by on his bike. I was the girl who, in high school, would go to the classroom of this guy and pretend to look for somebody else just so I could stand at the door. And I convinced myself I was doing that so that he could see me, and not the other way around.
When I think of it, because I am too eager, none of my ex-boyfriends had actually properly courted me. I pursued them all.
Too eager. Too aggressive.
My eagerness has not done me well.
Too eager to call, two or three times a day.
Too eager to text, all ending with “luv u”
Too eager to meet, once a week not being enough.
Too eager to walk hand in hand.
Too eager to actually go to where he worked and wait hours until he got off.
Too eager to actually be in his house before he even arrived home.
Too eager to talk even if there was some good show on TV.
Too eager to snuggle even when he was darn tired.
Too eager to go on dates.
To eager to actually write poems, make songs, give long, boring, handwritten letters and homemade cards.
Too eager to talk about my day.
Too eager to ask about his day.
Too eager to want to come even if he was just going to get something at the store.
To eager to want to ride home together.
Too eager to be told sweet nothings.
Too eager to be hugged.
Too insistent to be picked up after work.
Too insistent to be walked home.
Too insistent to be given attention.
Too insistent that I was annoying.
I think I kind of understand now.
15 responses so far ↓
Momisodes // October 21, 2009 at 3:25 am |
There is something to be said about persistence and following your heart. And you are a woman who goes after what she wants with arms wide open. Nothing wrong with that. I think it’s endearing
In fact, anything less may be considered playing games. Which ultimately could lead you in along a totally different path not worth going.
Kaith // October 21, 2009 at 9:45 am |
ohmy. kat, you wouldn’t believe it but i kinda feel like reading my own entry. i am the eager type too. my comment would take in the form of my own post.
BlogusVox // October 21, 2009 at 1:49 pm |
Try to do away or minimize some of your “too eager…” thing on your list. It will scare-off prospective soulmate. Kahit ako kinilabutan.
witsandnuts // October 21, 2009 at 2:47 pm |
Sigh. I think at least once, we will pass that stage of being too eager. Then we’re supposed to manage it, to balance things. And yes, that would be hardwork. =)
bing // October 21, 2009 at 8:45 pm |
i do believe that most, if not all, girls and women, pass this stage of being ‘too eager’. maybe it’s the emotions that have not been recognized fully. but i know, this shall pass. and if a girl or a woman will learn to accept reality and the truth, she will be able to understand fully and recover and move on.
they say, that most boys and men despise the ‘eager type’ of girl or woman. i should not even say that most of them feel that way because it is a hasty generalization. perhaps the challenge is not there anymore kasi, for some.
bluedreamer // October 22, 2009 at 7:19 am |
oh my… what a memory….. i remember those days when i was in highschool hayst,,,, if i could turn back those times again…
bw // October 22, 2009 at 8:12 am |
don’t regret your over eagerness my dear. Men and women have the same feelings. We’re not in the 50’s anymore. You’ll eventually find your man – for sure
johnonline // October 22, 2009 at 9:52 pm |
learn to slow things down… hope you’ll find your happiness soon…
Ed Lopez // October 22, 2009 at 11:08 pm |
No advice for you. Find your own way.
K.noizki // October 23, 2009 at 12:01 pm |
Wooo Kat, that’s “too much”, give yourself a break. Maybe this time, you can play hard to get. What do you think?
This does not mean you have to give up your own personality. I think most men these days wants a real woman with a character of her own.
dongho // October 25, 2009 at 9:41 pm |
there’ll be a perfect timing and the perfect person. dont stop loving.
keith // October 27, 2009 at 3:44 am |
I remember one blogger who posted a video of children asked to not eat a marshmallow. If they do not eat the marshmallow, they will get a second one as a prize.
They say that the children who did not eat the first marshmallow, ende d up more successful in life…
I am learning how to leave the marshmallow alone. I am learning how to get my prize
bluedreamer // October 30, 2009 at 7:48 pm |
hello kat just visiting you here again have a great day and happy blogging!
Miel // November 3, 2009 at 1:30 am |
God bless you Kat ^_^ musta na?
panaderos // November 16, 2009 at 11:30 pm |
I admire you for pursuing the one you love. Please don’t blame yourself for the failure of such relationships. All you can do is learn from the experience and eventually, you will the find the one who will love you for the rest of your years. Take care, my friend.